Awaken

I will now ground and center myself. The Earth’s energy flows through my feet, into my legs, and into my pelvis at the base of my spine. My Root Chakra awakens. I can visualize and feel the red swirl of energy vibrating with Divine Life. I know who I am, and I belong. I will feel grounded and safe, today and always. I am connected to all of life and the universe. All of my needs will be met.

The energy moves up my body pausing just below my navel. My Sacral Chakra awakens. I can visualize and feel the orange swirl of energy vibrating with Divine Life. I feel well and enjoy the pleasures of my body. All of my relationships, even the most casual, have spiritual value. I am a creative being. I am grateful for all I have and know that more is on the way.

The energy moves up my body pausing at my Solar Plexus - the dip under my breastbone. I can visualize and feel the yellow swirl of energy of the Chakra awaken. It is full of confidence and vibrating with Divine Life. I am honorable in the relationship I have with myself. I accept the responsibility for the person I've become. I am worthy of all good things. I have the confidence I need to interact with others and my surroundings. I have the confidence to make the choices that are best for me, and the freedom to do so.

The energy moves up my body pausing at my Heart Chakra above my breastbone. I can visualize and feel the green swirl of energy awaken. It is full of love, strength, energy, and balance. It vibrates with Divine Life. Love is Divine Power. I love myself. I can live peacefully in this world. Let my interactions with people bring peace and love. Let me see things in peo;le that others may not see.

The energy moves up my body pausing at my Throat Chakra – in the hollow of my throat. I can visualize and feel the sky blue swirl of energy awaken. I feel myself release my will to Divine Guidance as the Chakra vibrates with Divine Life. My every choice has global consequences. My actions will be motivated by my trust and faith in Divine Authority. My faith is strong and pure. I will listen to everyone’s truth and share mine if they wish.

The energy moves up my body pausing at my Third Eye Chakra – between my eyebrows. I can visualize and feel the indigo swirl of energy awaken. I can see the things that lie within, and feel the intuition that brings messages from my higher self. May I be able to discern between truth and illusion. As the Chakra vibrates with Divine Life, I feel able to hear all the true messages and follow them without reserve.

The energy moves up my body pausing at my Crown Chakra – at the middle of the top of my head. I can visualize and feel the amethyst, blending with white, swirl of energy awaken. It vibrates with Divine Life. I can feel myself letting go. No more emotional illusions of fear. I no longer hold on to the past. I do not anticipate the future. I live in the presence of the Divine Now…

The Waning Moon

And like a dying lady, lean and pale,

Who totters forth, wrapped in a gauzy veil,

Out of her chamber, led by the insane

And feeble wanderings of her fading brain,

The moon arose up in the murky east,

A white and shapeless mass. 

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Quetzal

Ganapati Prarthana And Ghanapaath

Hematite

Vatermal

Erlend Mork

The Ultimate Attainment

The past is already past.

Don't try to regain it.

The present does not stay.

Don't try to touch it.

From moment to moment.

The future has not come;

Don't think about it beforehand.

Whatever comes to the eye,

Leave it be.

There are no commandments to be kept;

There's no filth to be cleansed.

With empty mind really penetrated, 

The dharmas have no life.

When you can be like this,

You've completed the ultimate attainment.

P'ang Yün

The Curtains Open For Awhile

You can't imagine how hard it is to deal with having anxiety problems on top of being Bipolar. Several months ago my medicines started to gradually help me less and less. The last several weeks have been the worst. Don't get me wrong, every now and then the curtains part and I have a good day or two, but then they close again and I'm back to my funk. Today is Monday and it's the first day I've actually left my apartment and gone outside since Thursday evening. I was in my funk most of the day but for some reason about 5:00 the curtains drew open and I've been able to do a few things. I decided I would catch up my journal posts on here while it lasts.

Tomorrow will be my 13th week doing the Hepatitis C treatment with the Ribavirin, Olysio, and Sovaldi. I reached the half-way point last week and had a viral count done. The results showed that the virus is still undetectable and all my other blood work looked good. I still get fatigued and have headaches but I can handle that.

I had been having really bad chest pains when I tried to walk anywhere and even sometimes at rest but finally realized that it was due to my heavy smoking. I tried to use nicotine patches to quit but failed miserably with them. A good friend of mine suggested that I get an electronic hookah that burns flavored oils that contain varying amounts of nicotine and you "smoke" vapor instead of actual paper and tobacco smoke (as well as all the chemicals they put in cigarettes). So I'm using one of those now and I love it. My chest has already started to heal up and feel better. I really think this is so much healthier for me. I'll be able to gradually cut down on the amount of nicotine in the flavors I'm using. Right now I'm "vapeing" a combination of vanilla and smooth tobacco. I plan on getting some cappuccino and caramel flavors next.

I've been working on a script of sorts to use to cast the first circle I've done in a long time on the night of the new moon the 29th....there's a solar eclipse the same day...anyway, I have some pretty cool intentions I want to incorporate into my ceremony. I'm calling this my medicine wheel circle and it's based on ideas I got from The Four Winds Society website. After creating my sacred space I am going to face each corresponding direction and recite the following:

North

Earth

Wisdom

Just as the hummingbird makes the seemingly impossible migration from Canada all the way to Brazil, I too will embark on the epic mythic journey when Spirit calls. Although I don’t know where I’m going or how I’ll get there, I will learn how to follow my soul’s guidance to the flowers with the sweetest nectar to sustain me on my way. I will step outside of linear time and into sacred time in the infinite to heal my past and chart my destiny. I will assume the role of author of my own story and I will burn all my limiting roles so that I can be fully available when Spirit calls

East

Air

Benevolence

Just like an eagle, I will spread my wings and soar high above the world. I will forget the minute details of my life and my old identifications, and I will let myself see everything from a greater perspective. I will come to know that everything that appears to be outside of me in life is really inside of me. I will learn how to own my projections so that I can come into a proper relationship with them and create the world of my dreams. I will learn how to identify and close the “back doors” in my life, which siphon my vital life force and prevent me from making my dreams reality.   

South

Fire

Appropriate Behavior

In the same way that a snake sheds its skin, I will shed the stories that bind me to my painful past and prevent me from stepping into a bright future. I will come into a proper relationship with who I have been, who I am, and who I am becoming. I will create the world I desire. I will visualize luminous bands of protection in my energy field which will allow me to be more present and available for life, instead of wasting my energy trying to hide in fear from a terrifying world. I will follow, trust, and effectively use my intuition as a valuable tool in navigating through the world.

West

Water

Justice

Just as the jaguar has no predators in the jungle, I will learn to have no enemies in this world or beyond. I will leave behind the traditional archetype of the violent warrior and step into the way of the luminous warrior, who speaks only truth, walks truth, and calls truth. I will break free from the grip of fear. I will explore inherited ancestral and karmic patterns that propel me toward my destiny. I will come into right relation with these patterns and I will honor the gifts of my ancestors, so that I can set them free and empower myself to create the world of my dreams.

I guess that's all I had to share for now guys....let's hope the curtains on the stage my life is performed on stay open for awhile this time.

Enjoy life!  

Tanzanite

Balance

Dariusz Klimczak

For A New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure; 

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

~ John O'Donohue ~

To Bless the Space Between Us

Lord Rama

Sri Hanuman

Take A Flying Leap!

Rumi

"Come, come again, whoever you are, come!

Heathen, fire worshiper or idolatrous, come!

Come even if you broke your penitence a hundred times,

Ours is the portal of hope, come as you are."

Mevlana Celalddin Rumi

Adamite

Memoria

Tomorrow

"I aim here only at revealing myself, who will perhaps be different tomorrow, if I learn something new which changes me."   

Michel de Montaigne

"The present is the ever moving shadow that divides yesterday from tomorrow. In that lies hope."  

Frank Lloyd Wright

"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith".   

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Aquamarine With Muscovite

Lonely Alone

Does anyone ever feel alone?

I doubt it...

Cause I'm alone.

And I must be the only one...

Is there meat on that bone?

Give it here....

Cause I'm starved.

And being starved, I want it all...

Do you see that field over there?

Go run in it...

Cause that's what I wanna do.

And being ill, I can't make it...

Do you get a hug and loving each night?

You better relish in it...

I hate you for it.

I'm alone...

No Words Needed...

Principia Rerum

Who's Watching You?

The Meaning Of Life, Time, And Other Such Things

Okay, so back in school before I killed so many brain cells, I was in an advanced algebra class when I suddenly felt I had found the meaning of life. We were graphing systems of nonlinear equations with multiple variables. After a day of doing these equations I came to the realization that the meaning of life was for us to find our "x", "y" intercept points, maintaining a constant steady slope, while God threw changing variables of varying degrees of difficulty into the system of nonlinear equations we call our life.

Now, on a side note, let me say that I have always had a problem with seeing time as linear. I'm not even going to go there right now...but it would explain why I have such a problem with punctuation!

What brought the memory back to me and this subsequent blog post was the fact that I caught myself sitting here staring at my candle, icons, and crystals...It wasn't just that though...I had been sitting here for quite awhile and had suddenly realized just how long I had been that way. I asked myself, "How long are you going to sit here like this?"

I was reminded of an old Joan Osborne song called, "Crazy Baby." I was going to post the lyrics, but after checking my archives, I found that I already have. I also realized that either God (however you choose to interpret that) has really thrown me a whammy this time, my graphing calculator is on the fritz, or I'm close to losing it. Someone hand me another candle, would you?

Enjoy Life!  

Fluorite With Malachite And Calcite

Waxing Crescent Moon In Gemini

I have always followed the moon phases and usually find it very helpful to plan my activities according to her cycles. I like to think the moon inspires and illuminates me. This phase of the moon is best for all types of positive magick and new beginnings. Invoking, ideas, inspiration, energy, vitality, self-renewal, artistic pursuits, and creativity.

Enjoy Life!

A Spiritual Reconnection

Okay, so let's just say my kettle boiled over a little yesterday and I sort of cussed and ranted to my therapist for about an hour. I'm not going to go into the details. I will say however, it was mutually decided that I needed to find a way to reconnect with my spiritual energy and my Divine Source. I spent some time yesterday evening meditating and trying some visualization. I got up this morning feeling some better and lit my Candle in front of my Icons of Saint Nahum and Saint Panteleimon which, by the way, has unakite, selenite, hematite, black tourmaline, apophylite, green aventurine, and tiger and hawk's eye crystals arranged around them. As synchronicity so often happens, after I was finished meditating, I ran across a Bob Marley quote on Facebook that not only coincides kind of with my need to reconnect spiritually, but also with a short story/poem that I've been working on.

"Rise up fallen fighters...rise and take your stance again!" 

I think I'll close this post by saying what I think any good pagan would say, "So Mote it Be!"

Enjoy Life!