The Conscious Cataclysm: My Work

Showing posts with label My Work. Show all posts

2/1/17

Venus In The Third House

The pleasures of life call to me now as I sit in the walled fortress I have made. The pain, sorrow and regrets of the past, the mortar that holds the stones of the walls together, quiet for now. My thoughts repeat, "Tear down the wall!" "Tear down the wall!" My heart trembles. A broken-winged bird afraid to try and fly, singing a song of freedom.

5/7/14

The Waxing Moon

There is a building increase of intentions,

Charged with particles of light and energy.

Sparkling with vibratory life,

The swirling divinity of my Soul,

Is like tingling bells through my ethereal body.

Reaching for the Lunar Goddess,

It strives to find the power of creation,

Evermore moving toward fruition.

Jeff Medford

4/3/14

Lonely Alone

Does anyone ever feel alone?

I doubt it...

Cause I'm alone.

And I must be the only one...

Is there meat on that bone?

Give it here....

Cause I'm starved.

And being starved, I want it all...

Do you see that field over there?

Go run in it...

Cause that's what I wanna do.

And being ill, I can't make it...

Do you get a hug and loving each night?

You better relish in it...

I hate you for it.

I'm alone...

9/2/12

Fishing In The Online Dating Pond

I use words to bait my hook,

With precision do I work,

Using words to camouflage my baggage,

I cast my line,

And I wait,

Like any fisherman,

I wait,

I feel a tug,

I jerk my pole to hook him in,

I ease up and start talking,

Will he take my words as I say them,

The repartee a give and take,

The line a colloquy of desire,

He breaks free,

I'm left with my words,

My longing my only reward

Evanescent Dreams

I woke from a dream,

Lingering traces of the emotions with me,

The music of flutes and drums in my mind,

Dancing, jumping, twirling,

Suspended in the air,

I sing in the wind,

Evanescently

Ben

His sparkling eyes smile at me,

My heart dances with the wind,

I tell him he brought the rain,

A sign of good fortune,

We walk and talk,

He listens and replies with perfect words,

My soul is pierced with longing,

He takes my hand and guides me,

Taking me to the place I dream of,

His face, his chest,

All of him I touch,

Burning them into my memory,

There is no time,

The past, the present, the future,

All in a never ending now

5/16/12

The Highs And Lows

Sadness settles over my soul,

Caged and Restless,

Black coal rains down on me,

Loneliness consumes me,

It's what I need,

To regain my self somehow.

I wake to a new dawn,

Crisp, clean, and lucid,

I thank my God,

For the strength to carry on,

For my waking up,

Both inside myself and out.

Life's funny that way,

The highs and lows you see,

The forces that move us forward,

Make life what it is,

The highs and lows.

Balancing on the edge of an abyss.

4/23/12

Regret

It might have been,

Could have been should,

If only had ever seen would.

Been why else even,

When you should have seen could,

If even you would have,

Could have should would.

I even when why, you ever been should.

I would have been,

Should been, could have would done.

11/11/09

I Love You

Empty your venom sac into my brain

Hot heat lies and dellusion

They spread into my life threatening obsession and doubt

My expectations flung to the dead end dirt on the side of the road

My pitiful life drunk with self-judgement and abandoned like a beaten dog

I'm chained in the basement of your demonic heart

Your poison feels me with dreams of black clouds and lightning

While I listen for your footsteps on the stairs

6/23/09

On The Corner Of Death And Hell

I sit roasting on my own seat of judgment

condemning myself by the day

Hour by hour,

minute by minute...

This hot shitty stink hole

I live in I refer to as life...

trying my best to get by.

what is happy?

and unhappy?

and why?

does it matter anyhow?

Sometimes I can't wait

for this body to rot

just seep into the ground

a meadow somewhere

a beautiful meadow

Hell is here on this corner I've found

The shackles bind me

they blind me

they're mine

Birches

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay.
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground,
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm,
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree~
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Robert Frost

From Emerson"s "Self-Reliance"

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”

A Prayer Of The Optina Elders

Prayer of the Optina Elders

O Lord, grant unto me that with Thy peace I may greet all that this day is to bring.
Grant unto me grace to surrender myself completely to Thy holy will.
In every hour of this day instruct and guide me in all things.
Whatever tidings I may receive during this day, do Thou teach me to accept tranquilly in the firm belief that Thy holy will governs all.
Govern Thou my thoughts and feelings in all I do and say. When unforseen things occur, let me not forget that all is sent by Thee.
Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward everyone, that I may bring confusion and sorrow to no one. Bestow on me, O Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day and to bear my part in its events.
Guide Thou my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive, and to love.

The Dalai Lama's Approach To Achieving Happiness

"Happiness begins with distinguishing between spirituality and religion. To have a spiritual dimension in your life, you should appreciate your potential as a human being and recognize the importance of inner transformation through a process of mental development.

The art of happiness has many components. It begins with developing an understanding of what are the truest sources of happiness and setting your priorities in life based on the cultivation of those sources. "It involves an inner discipline, a gradual process of rooting out destructive mental states and replacing them with positive, constructive states of mind, such as kindness, tolerance, and forgiveness."

Walt Whitman

"Hours continuing long,
sore and heavy-hearted,
Hours of the duck, when I withdrew to a lonesome and unfrequented spot, seating myself,
leaning my face in my hands; Hours sleepless,
deep in the night, when I go forth,
speeding swiftly the country roads,
or through the city streets, or pacing miles and miles,
stifiling plaintive cries; Hours discouraged,
distracted -- for the one I cannot content myself without,
soon I saw him content himself without me;
Hours when I am forgotten,
(O weeks and months are passing,
but I believe I am never to forget!)
Sullen and suffering hours!
(I am ashamed -- but it is useless -- I am what I am;)
Hours of my torment --
I wonder if other men ever have the like,
out of the like feelings?
Is there even one other like me -- distracted -- his friend,
his lover, lost to him? Is he too as I am now?
Does he still rise in the morning, dejected,
thinking who is lost to him? and at night,
awaking, thinking who is lost?"

Uncovering The True Face

"Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labor to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiseling your statue, until there shall shine out on you from it the godlike splendor of virtue, until you shall see the perfect goodness surely established in the stainless shrine."

Piontius "The Enneads"

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

New Improved Stress Management

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time because then, you won't have a leg to stand on.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Some mistakes are too fun to only make once.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live.
Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance. (Unless you're Elaine from Seinfeld)
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

2/1/17

5/7/14

4/3/14

9/2/12

5/16/12

4/23/12

11/11/09

6/23/09

My World

Blog Archive

Hetrick-Martin Institute

TREVOR PROJECT CRISIS HELP LINE

Save A Life!

His Story Lives On

Erase Hate!

The Smile Train

Help Save The Honeybees!

From My World To Theirs

Birches

From Emerson"s "Self-Reliance"

A Prayer Of The Optina Elders

A Method Of Self-Reflection

A Rule Of Thumb

The Dalai Lama's Approach To Achieving Happiness

Walt Whitman

Uncovering The True Face

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Possibilities

New Improved Stress Management

Walt Whitman

I"m Glad You Were Here! Enjoy Life!

Parting Thoughts