The Conscious Cataclysm

3/15/16

One of Us

So one of these nights and about twelve o'clock

This old world's going to reel and rock

Saints will tremble and cry for pain

For the Lord's gonna come in his heavenly airplane

If God had a name, what would it be?

And would you call it to his face,

If you were faced with Him in all His glory?

What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah, yeah, God is great

Yeah, yeah, God is good

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God was one of us?

Just a slob like one of us?

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make His way home?

If God had a face, what would it look like?

And would you want to see

If seeing meant that you would have to believe

In things like Heaven and in Jesus and the saints

And all the prophets? And...

Yeah, yeah, God is great

Yeah, yeah,

Joan Osborne

3/3/16

2/15/16

5/2/15

5/1/15

Eminem - The Monster (Explicit) ft. Rihanna

4/26/15

12/4/14

I don't know where to begin...let's see...I have taken a break from my religious, metaphysical, and philosophical studies. I am still maintaining my altar and saying prayers, but any further research would only make for confusion. I am also feeling Saturn's influence as it finishes moving in Scorpio and moves into Sagittarius on the 23rd.

I've been doing some soul-searching and I'm trying to clean up some of the cobwebs left hanging onto my ego and will. I am always trying to do and feel better but something inside me keeps me from following up on any of my intentions. I really believe that it is the stuff still clinging on that is holding me back. Regrets cloud my judgement almost everyday.

Check back if you want and see how things are progressing. I hope to get back to posting on a regular basis.

Enjoy Life!

11/24/14

Contemplation

11/9/14

Going Round The Mulberry Bush

I was reading an article about how the Kabbalistic notion of the kelipot related to autonemous complexes in psychology when I began seeing correlations with these two and the Hindu and Buddhist notion of the Dakini. While continuing to read I started thinking about my notion of having three phases to my life. Why was I trying so hard to find a way to tie everything together? Could it even be done?

I had unconsciously decided that summing it all up into a nice single answer would be the best goal to my just beginning integration phase. But I think I was wrong to do that. I'll never be able to sum it all up, put it in a nice box, tie a pretty ribbon on it, and stand back and say, "Ta, Da! I figured it out!" The more things I draw conclusions on and discover answers for, the more the questions appear.

I am left to speculate on what my end game should be. What could be a reasonable ultimate goal for my life?What could be the outcome from my integrating the two previous phases of my life? Why do I feel like this quest for the ultimate answer has to be achieved before I can fully integrate? I feel as though my integration requires a summation.

My word...
I think I'll go play with Lego's awhile...

Enjoy Life!

Belle Phrase

“Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.” Carl Sandburg

11/8/14

Where To Go From Here...

Hey guys,

It seems that I am long overdue for a heart to heart with you. I can describe where I am now by saying that these are surely emotionally tumultuous times. I have come to the realization that I think my life will have three stages. First there was the sure young man seeking outward growth, second there was the inner seeker years from which I am now emerging and I think third there will be the integration years where I put the two together toward some goal that I'm unsure of now. This realization has really hit me kind of hard, and I'm trying to get my bearings. I'm scared to death actually, to be honest with you.

What if we could all become our ideal vision of ourselves?

Enjoy Life!

10/29/14

Around The Moon

Mark Freedom

10/8/14

Going Through Notebooks

"I continue the search for some elusive key that will unlock an esoteric treasure chest for me..." Jeff Medford (Yeah, I said that...He He)

Surya - The Sun God Chandra - The Moon God

There Are No Limits...

Energy goes where attention goes...

The absence of an impossible way of existing.

I am independent of the good or bad opinion of others.

I am beneath no one, superior to no one.

I am fearless of any challenge. (...said the cowardly lion...)

What extreme energy are you feeling?

Are you not facing the truth about something?

Anything you let go of will soon be replaced by something else...

A glimpse beyond the veil...

Had enough or do you want more? Well, I'll satisfy both audiences by saying that it's been a really tiresome, stress filled day and I actually think that I've had enough, so I'll call it a night. For all you screaming fans, please calm down and rest easy that I will be back. For those of you that could give a rat's ass, well you should. Because in this tiny bit of a Blog Kingdom at least.....This Bitch Rules! Okay, so now I'm having visions of , "The Mouse That Roared"...

Enjoy Life!

Absence Is Sweet, But Damned!

Okay, here goes...

That was some dead air...huh? I've recently been through a spiritual, mental, and financial meltdown and had decided that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to write again. I was telling a friend about how I felt and what all I have recently been through and I mentioned that, I couldn't begin to express what I had been experiencing and feeling... Actually I said, "I can't write....no wait, I mean, I'm having difficulty writing (because I'm trying to stop saying I can't...but on with the story), .We both came to the agreement at the same time that I could still write, it was just that I was having trouble right now. A writer's block. Ah, hahhh! That I know how to fix! So that's what finds me here tonight taking my first plunge. The best cure for writer's block is to write...

Enjoy Life!

9/26/14

Cured

I just took a look at the postings I had done labeled, "Hepatitis C" and realized that none of them told you that my last treatment had been completely successful. I am cured of Hepatitis C...I don't have it anymore!

8/28/14

Gratitude From A Hat

My therapist and I are starting to get into some of the issues I still carry from the events that led up to my years of homelessness. We talked about how it would be a good thing to try and find something positive about what happened. She wanted me to find a way to creatively express it. The best way to start the process is for me to make a list of some of my thoughts about the time I spent homeless.

I met two of the dearest, closest friends I've ever had in my life. One with a huge white puff-ball on her head, and the other a little lost girl that played with fire.

I was able to go back to school long enough to learn the computer skills I have now.

I met quite a few extraordinary people. Some who were truly of the earth. Some very brave and courageous. Some had wills of fire, Some were simply noble. Some were bad. Some were downright evil. Some were funny. Some were hilarious, and there were the few that were bat shit crazy.

There's a price for everything. People aren't very willing to do anything for you for free. The key question being, "What's in it for me?"

Unlike Blanche from, "A Streetcar Named Desire," I have not been able to rely on the kindness of strangers

The chilly, rainy days when there was no place to go. When being wet and miserable just had to be accepted. When you're huddled on the doorstep of an out-of-the-way place in town, and things look their bleakest. You realize just how alone you really are.

I had the wonderful opportunity to test my vocation for six months in a Russian Orthodox Christian Monastery that used to be in Georgia.

You ALWAYS have to watch your back.
.

8/22/14

The Winds Of Change

“Humanity sits poised at a precipice; in front of us is an indeterminable pathway, behind us is the shell of a decaying age. We are at the crossroads of our experience; already actions, as well as thinking processes are being set which will determine the nature of a new and extraordinary destiny. Our survival as a thinking species and as well all living things upon the Earth now hangs in the mercy of the Winds of Change. Winds that no longer blow quiet warnings, rather they carry with them a somewhat foreboding message and always deliver a swift altering of our contrived reality through extremely volatile occurrences.”

Dr. Robert Wolf

"As sensitive human beings experiencing such global trauma, we must stay calm and sure, remain at peace, grounded and centred. We must not be carried away by the media messages. In fact, it’s far more healthy to disconnect from TV, newspapers and radio news. The media channels express the darkness and fear that exists on the outer edge of the wound. They suppress the joy of the arising heart beating within the global psyche. A new earth is emerging and forming from the flames of the fear and control that has been our heritage."

David G. Arenson

May the world and all sentient beings ride on the wings of the phoenix as he rises from the ashes of our corrupt and outdated way of being. And as my grandmother would say, "And may we have a little more sense this time..."

Enjoy Life!

8/21/14

Let Go Of The World

Take a few minutes to think, not of what's waiting for you to do, not what you should do, or what you could have done, but about what pleases you most. Dream a little house, room by room. Dream a walk through the garden you'd love to own, plant by plant. Dream a walk through the woods and the plants and animals you will see. If you love a rainy day dream that you can smell and hear the rain. If you love the lake or the ocean...dream that. Take a minute to let go of the world.

I Hear Nature Calling...

Daniel van Flymen

Birches

When I see birches bend to left and right
Across the lines of straighter darker trees,
I like to think some boy's been swinging them.
But swinging doesn't bend them down to stay.
Ice-storms do that. Often you must have seen them
Loaded with ice a sunny winter morning
After a rain. They click upon themselves
As the breeze rises, and turn many-coloured
As the stir cracks and crazes their enamel.
Soon the sun's warmth makes them shed crystal shells
Shattering and avalanching on the snow-crust
Such heaps of broken glass to sweep away
You'd think the inner dome of heaven had fallen.
They are dragged to the withered bracken by the load,
And they seem not to break; though once they are bowed
So low for long, they never right themselves:
You may see their trunks arching in the woods
Years afterwards, trailing their leaves on the ground,
Like girls on hands and knees that throw their hair
Before them over their heads to dry in the sun.
But I was going to say when Truth broke in
With all her matter-of-fact about the ice-storm,
I should prefer to have some boy bend them
As he went out and in to fetch the cows
Some boy too far from town to learn baseball,
Whose only play was what he found himself,
Summer or winter, and could play alone.
One by one he subdued his father's trees
By riding them down over and over again
Until he took the stiffness out of them,
And not one but hung limp, not one was left
For him to conquer. He learned all there was
To learn about not launching out too soon
And so not carrying the tree away
Clear to the ground. He always kept his poise
To the top branches, climbing carefully
With the same pains you use to fill a cup
Up to the brim, and even above the brim.
Then he flung outward, feet first, with a swish,
Kicking his way down through the air to the ground.
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over.
May no fate wilfully misunderstand me
And half grant what I wish and snatch me away
Not to return. Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.
I'd like to go by climbing a birch tree~
And climb black branches up a snow-white trunk
Toward heaven, till the tree could bear no more,
But dipped its top and set me down again.
That would be good both going and coming back.
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.

Robert Frost

From Emerson"s "Self-Reliance"

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better or worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.”

A Prayer Of The Optina Elders

Prayer of the Optina Elders

O Lord, grant unto me that with Thy peace I may greet all that this day is to bring.
Grant unto me grace to surrender myself completely to Thy holy will.
In every hour of this day instruct and guide me in all things.
Whatever tidings I may receive during this day, do Thou teach me to accept tranquilly in the firm belief that Thy holy will governs all.
Govern Thou my thoughts and feelings in all I do and say. When unforseen things occur, let me not forget that all is sent by Thee.
Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward everyone, that I may bring confusion and sorrow to no one. Bestow on me, O Lord, strength to endure the fatigue of the day and to bear my part in its events.
Guide Thou my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive, and to love.

The Dalai Lama's Approach To Achieving Happiness

"Happiness begins with distinguishing between spirituality and religion. To have a spiritual dimension in your life, you should appreciate your potential as a human being and recognize the importance of inner transformation through a process of mental development.

The art of happiness has many components. It begins with developing an understanding of what are the truest sources of happiness and setting your priorities in life based on the cultivation of those sources. "It involves an inner discipline, a gradual process of rooting out destructive mental states and replacing them with positive, constructive states of mind, such as kindness, tolerance, and forgiveness."

Walt Whitman

"Hours continuing long,
sore and heavy-hearted,
Hours of the duck, when I withdrew to a lonesome and unfrequented spot, seating myself,
leaning my face in my hands; Hours sleepless,
deep in the night, when I go forth,
speeding swiftly the country roads,
or through the city streets, or pacing miles and miles,
stifiling plaintive cries; Hours discouraged,
distracted -- for the one I cannot content myself without,
soon I saw him content himself without me;
Hours when I am forgotten,
(O weeks and months are passing,
but I believe I am never to forget!)
Sullen and suffering hours!
(I am ashamed -- but it is useless -- I am what I am;)
Hours of my torment --
I wonder if other men ever have the like,
out of the like feelings?
Is there even one other like me -- distracted -- his friend,
his lover, lost to him? Is he too as I am now?
Does he still rise in the morning, dejected,
thinking who is lost to him? and at night,
awaking, thinking who is lost?"

Uncovering The True Face

"Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labor to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiseling your statue, until there shall shine out on you from it the godlike splendor of virtue, until you shall see the perfect goodness surely established in the stainless shrine."

Piontius "The Enneads"

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

New Improved Stress Management

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time because then, you won't have a leg to stand on.
A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Some mistakes are too fun to only make once.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live.
Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just get up and dance. (Unless you're Elaine from Seinfeld)
You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

3/15/16

3/3/16

2/15/16

5/2/15

5/1/15

4/26/15

12/4/14

11/24/14

11/9/14

11/8/14

10/29/14

10/8/14

9/26/14

8/28/14

8/22/14

8/21/14

My World

Blog Archive

Hetrick-Martin Institute

TREVOR PROJECT CRISIS HELP LINE

Save A Life!

His Story Lives On

Erase Hate!

The Smile Train

Help Save The Honeybees!

From My World To Theirs

Birches

From Emerson"s "Self-Reliance"

A Prayer Of The Optina Elders

A Method Of Self-Reflection

A Rule Of Thumb

The Dalai Lama's Approach To Achieving Happiness

Walt Whitman

Uncovering The True Face

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Possibilities

New Improved Stress Management

Walt Whitman

I"m Glad You Were Here! Enjoy Life!

Parting Thoughts