Gratitude From A Hat

My therapist and I are starting to get into some of the issues I still carry from the events that led up to my years of homelessness. We talked about how it would be a good thing to try and find something positive about what happened. She wanted me to find a way to creatively express it. The best way to start the process is for me to make a list of some of my thoughts about the time I spent homeless.

I met two of the dearest, closest friends I've ever had in my life. One with a huge white puff-ball on her head, and the other a little lost girl that played with fire.

I was able to go back to school long enough to learn the computer skills I have now.

I met quite a few extraordinary people. Some who were truly of the earth. Some very brave and courageous. Some had wills of fire, Some were simply noble. Some were bad. Some were downright evil. Some were funny. Some were hilarious, and there were the few that were bat shit crazy.

There's a price for everything. People aren't very willing to do anything for you  for free. The key question being, "What's in it for me?"

Unlike Blanche from, "A Streetcar Named Desire," I have not been able to rely on the kindness of strangers

The chilly, rainy days when there was no place to go. When being wet and miserable just had to be accepted. When you're huddled on the doorstep of an out-of-the-way place in town, and things look their bleakest. You realize just how alone you really are.

I had the wonderful opportunity to test my vocation for six months in a Russian Orthodox Christian Monastery that used to be in Georgia.

You ALWAYS have to watch your back.
.

The Winds Of Change

“Humanity sits poised at a precipice; in front of us is an indeterminable pathway, behind us is the shell of a decaying age. We are at the crossroads of our experience; already actions, as well as thinking processes are being set which will determine the nature of a new and extraordinary destiny. Our survival as a thinking species and as well all living things upon the Earth now hangs in the mercy of the Winds of Change. Winds that no longer blow quiet warnings, rather they carry with them a somewhat foreboding message and always deliver a swift altering of our contrived reality through extremely volatile occurrences.”

Dr. Robert Wolf

"As sensitive human beings experiencing such global trauma, we must stay calm and sure, remain at peace, grounded and centred. We must not be carried away by the media messages. In fact, it’s far more healthy to disconnect from TV, newspapers and radio news. The media channels express the darkness and fear that exists on the outer edge of the wound. They suppress the joy of the arising heart beating within the global psyche. A new earth is emerging and forming from the flames of the fear and control that has been our heritage."

David G. Arenson

May the world and all sentient beings ride on the wings of the phoenix as he rises from the ashes of our corrupt and outdated way of being. And as my grandmother would say, "And may we have a little more sense this time..."

Enjoy Life!

Let Go Of The World

Take a few minutes to think, not of what's waiting for you to do, not what you should do, or what you could have done, but about what pleases you most. Dream a little house, room by room. Dream a walk through the garden you'd love to own, plant by plant. Dream a walk through the woods and the plants and animals you will see. If you love a rainy day dream that you can smell and hear the rain. If you love the lake or the ocean...dream that. Take a minute to let go of the world.

I Hear Nature Calling...

Daniel van Flymen

Daniel van Flymen

Falling Slowly

I don't know you

But I want you

All the more for that

Words fall through me

And always fool me

And I can't react

And games that never amount

To more than they're meant

Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice

You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can't go back

And moods that take me and erase me

And I'm painted black

Well you have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice

You've made it now

Falling slowly sing your melody

I'll sing along

The Swell Season

Just Riding Around

Okay, I've decided to add yet two more deity's to my sadhana...Kali, and Durga. I think I am going to get two thangka to put centrally on my Altar. I also need to get one of Vishnu. I'm going to have to invest in some statuary so I can perform a real puja. Right now I reverence and honor the gods by using the thangka as best as I can. I did a little nosing around into the nature of Samadhi which is an ego transcending state of consciousness. Pretty cool stuff if your interested. I also ran across a really good article by Darity Wesley that you should take a look at. Oracle for August - Authenticity.

Enjoy Life!

Spiritual Strategy

I have been doing an incredible amount of research, delving deeply into Hinduism, Tibetan Buddhism, and Tantric Yoga theory. The whole time I've also been bringing up issues from my past that I haven't fully dealt with....the things that I have stuffed. I've had to start working through some of it because in order for them to continue existing within me they have been causing me to subconsciously or unconsciously manifest them in negative thinking and behavior. It's time for me to put them to rest once and for all. Anyway...I got to thinking yesterday about my devotion to Ardhnarishwara. I was considering changing the focus of my Hindu Sadhana (spiritual practice) on Vishnu instead. The more I have contemplated it the more I think I won't change. I will just add more attention to Vishnu. I will probably spend as much time on Vishnu as I spend on Hanuman now. Through all this change and mental activity ( all geared toward reaching my full potential and giving me some clear idea of where I stood spiritually) there has been my Pagan/Wicca beliefs and practices. They have given me a steady foundation from which  I could launch myself in any area I saw fit. They supplied me with a trustworthy tether with which I could safely anchor myself. And when I was ready to rest a weary head, they were there to envelop me in a soft blanket made from early summer moss. I am truly grateful. And then there's the moon that keeps me on track with her never ending cycle. Oh, I didn't share this...I can't believe I haven't already mentioned it. The last treatment I went through for the Hepatitis C Virus was successful! I am cured! Isn't that awesome! Well, that's about all that I wanted to share I guess. I'm leaving the fact that I have somehow gotten Bell's Palsy out kind of on purpose...I'm dealing with it quite well and from the very beginning have seen it as the result of some really bad karmic seeds I must have planted in my past. I am thankfully able to see the absurdity of it, and to be able to see irony in it. While writing I have realized something. It is not I who should be pursuing spirituality, but I should be concentrating on increasing my awareness of it already being within me and in letting it manifest in my outward life. Like the old saying...Let Go And Let God...

Enjoy life guys!  

Appalachian Hemlock

Find Your Inner Yin Yang

You Just Never Know...

Hey guys,

If you have been coming to my blog for awhile then you know that sometimes I go for weeks without posting anything. If you have just found me then now you know! In either case, I hope you keep checking back periodically to see what's happening. You never know what I'm going to post on here. As you may know, I love to study Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism, Tibetan Buddhism, and Tantric Yoga Theory. I have been pretty busy on my other blog, Oracle In The Wind. I also spent a weekend out of town visiting an old friend of mine. I woke up this morning to find that my right eye didn't want to close and that my mouth felt like I had been to the dentist and had some major work done. I thought that I might have had a mild stroke or something so I went to the emergency room. Turns out I have Bell's Palsy. They don't know what causes it, but they think it might be some sort of virus. It is an inflammation of the nerves that control facial muscles. When I blink my left eye does, but my right one stays open. It looks pretty freaky. The right side of my mouth is paralyzed too. Let me tell you it is hard as heck to eat a hot dog with your mouth partially paralyzed! They told me that it wouldn't be permanent....it will just take some time for things to get back to normal. You never know what's going to happen, do ya? Anyway, keep checking back in with me and as always...

Enjoy Life!

The Sublime

“Whereas the beautiful is limited, the sublime is limitless, so that the mind in the presence of the sublime, attempting to imagine what it cannot, has pain in the failure but pleasure in contemplating the immensity of the attempt”    Immanuel Kant

Under Construction

"I find it quite interesting that the word “person” was originally used to designate a “mask” or a “false face” in ancient Greece. It came to be used in the context of drama as an “assumed character”; eventually this linguistic usage stuck in our common language to designate a human being. Perhaps this is because life and the works of art work very similar. There seems to be some sort of script that we follow in order to operate in society. Even if we don’t follow any script that has been given to us from the outside, there is always an internal construction of who we are, an identity. We can change this construction, but we can never get rid of it. This is why there is always a reinvention and not a suppression of the self. Ideally, a self that is flexible, comprehensive and compassionate. We possess hyper complex structures that allow us to create our own self, we are autopoietic beings (from auto-self, and poiesis-creation). We create unique entities, with unique stories within a broader story. This means that we, as individual, have three functions, as described by the Spanish philosopher Xavier Zubiri: as agents, authors and actors. As agents, we execute the actions; as authors, we choose creatively over other possible actions; and as actors, we are inscribed in a broader reality that surpass us, but where we can make an impact. Just like “pure” reality can never be seen because it is seen in a particular way (with our eyes, a specific band of colors, etc.), we can never be without a mask. Behind every mask there is a mask. What mask do we want to wear? Personally, I wish to wear a magical one. When somebody asks us: who are you? We respond with our name, or occupation and things of that sort. But why don’t we say that we are someone who dreams of such things? Why don’t we respond that we are a child of the universe who dances to the sound of the singing air? Why don’t we respond that we are, under construction?"

 

An excerpt from Juan Pablo Hernandez's recent article, "The Reinvention of Oneself."

Have a good night/day friends,

Enjoy Life!

The Phoenix

Emma Spears

On Love And The Self

“The paradox is that by being ‘in love’ we are in fact falling in love with ourselves, and we have an opportunity to see ourselves in the eyes of another. It is an ecstatic place to be, the dance of romantic love, and one that cannot be denied, for it is the place where we are most likely to experience a divine tango with our soul. Love and myth go hand in hand, for myth is the most exquisite mirror of all for the reflection of self.” 

Sarah Bartlett

Dark Morning Mist

Nobody Praying For Me

Seether

Just an Update On Things...

I don't know what happened, but I woke up this past Saturday with a really bad fever. Whatever I had hit me like a freight truck. I was really sick for three days and on the mend for two. This is my third day being on the mend and I still feel like holy crap. I want to start doing some stuff but I just don't have any energy at all. Man, actually I think I'm going to have to wrap this post up and just say hello, and let you know I'll write more later.

Enjoy Life!

Another Day In The Life

Hey guys! I just wanted to let ya'll know that I haven't abandoned this blog...actually, I will probably maintain this blog the rest of my life. It's my  personal online journal and it helps me sometimes to write here. It's just that I recently remembered that back in 2007 when I started this blog, I had started two other blogs as well. It took me a little bit of time to remember how to log in to them, but I finally did. I had to do a little cleaning and redesigning, but I started them back up. I am keeping this blog as a personal journal type blog. One of the other blogs is an ongoing work of fiction. I want it to be completely anonymous, so I'm not sharing the name of the blog or anything on here....sorry....if you happen to find it then great, I hope you like it and keep going back, but otherwise I want to remain anonymous on it. The other one is strictly for sharing my spiritual journey. I am trying to develop a community of spiritual seekers by sharing my story and the knowledge of spiritual things that I have acquired. I will share it with you guys...here's a link. Oracle In The Wind Anyway, that's why I haven't posted anything on here for awhile. I've been doing a lot of work on it. I was doing a google image search the other day and I think I had typed in, magickal element of fire or something like that. I didn't find any images I could use for the article I was doing, but I did run across some cool pictures that I want to share. I don't know what they are, what their name  is or who the artist is....sorry....if anybody knows then  please make a comment and let me know. Here they are:

Well, I guess that's all for now. I will probably be going to drum circle tonight, and I want to participate in a Shiva and Sri Chakra Puja on Saturday and a group meditation on Sunday morning...we'll see. I'll probably check back in with you guys on Sunday. Check out The Oracle and let me know what you think.

Enjoy life!

Dead Letter And The Infinite Yes

I found a letter it read

"Our existence has serious side effects"

Turned on, turn on the television

and It's telling me the world is collapsing

I think it's coming and it comes so fast

I'm hearing whispers of an infinite yes

And I don't know why it is

Our bodies are dead, why you look so sad?

And my therapist said

"We've evolved through a series of accidents"

There's been talk of chemical imbalances

Restless sense of detachment, nausea and/or violence

I think it's coming oh and it comes so fast

I'm hearing whispers of an infinite yes

And I don't know why it is

I feel it coming, I think it's real and significant

I think I think I think a little too often

That's what my therapist said

We're alone in this wilderness

Left to choke on the pills and to feed on the viruses

I think it's coming oh and it comes so fast

I think it's coming and it comes so fast

I'm hearing whispers of an infinite yes

Our bodies are dead, why you look so sad

Our bodies are dead, why you look so sad

Wintersleep

Fairy Tales And Castles

He says, he looks in the mirror, he can't tell anymore

Who he really is and who they believe him to be

And he says he walks a thin line between what is and what could be

He's getting closer to something he can't understand

'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown

And his throne of ice is melting, he climbed his ladder

There was nothing there and now it's a long way down

'Cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave

Of what he thought was still alive on and on and on he goes

Dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

He says his head is filled with cartoons and fairy tales

And he's trapped inside a dungeon of dolls

With smiles on their faces

He's built a pretty cage

Hit shows on a beautiful stage

With candy coated prison bars

And chains that look like jeweler y

'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown

And his throne of ice is melting he climbed his ladder

There was nothing there and now it's a long way down

'Cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave

Of what he thought was still alive on and on and on he goes

Dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

'Cause he lives inside

Of fairy tails and castles now

And there's room inside

For false expectations and illusions

'Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown

And his throne of ice is melting he climbed his ladder

There was nothing there and now it's a long way down

It's a long way down

'Cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave

Of what he thought was still alive on and on and on he goes

Dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

'Cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave

Of what he thought was still alive on and on and on he goes

Dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

'Cause on and on and on he goes dancing on the grave

Of what he thought was still alive on and on and on he goes

Dancing in mansions made of twigs and castles made of sand

Written by Jason MIchael Wade

Performed by Lifehouse